Okay so before we pick up where we left off I just wanted to make sure I was real with y'all. I actually downplayed the fuck out of that kiss. Like it was not no soft cute little sweet peck naaa. This man had his whole tongue down my throat. Like I'm pretty sure he was touching the dangly thang back there. Like frenching me up outside, It would've been kind of passionate to me maybe If I was more affectionate. I definitely did kiss back but then I eventually pulled away. I'm not all the way certain how he felt about that but at this moment I didn't really care how he felt. I was ready to make this drive home and hit the bed... well the couch *rolls eyes.
When I finally made it in I got in the shower and made myself comfortable. The moonlight was shining through really bright lighting up the living room. I knew that soon it would be the sun up and shining. At this point, I couldn't go to sleep. Don't y'all hate it when you're super tired planning to have the best sleep of your life when you're outside, then once you get inside you're wide awake? Ugh so yeah here I am up just thinking about everything under the moon (haha get it). Like damn, a bitch is really in Atlanta, like I really got up and came down here. Just last year I left the love of my life, depressed trying to figure out what I was going to do next. This is crazy because I always wanted this though, to genuinely do what I love in life. It's sad to say that some people will just hold you back. So you have no choice but to move on. I get sad at times wondering If I will ever be able to open up to anyone again. Eh, and of course I found out my aunt was battling cancer a couple of days before leaving. But here I am here in Atlanta Georgia by myself. Like God what is this? What am I doing here? This got to be what they mean when they say stepping out on faith cause a bitch literally has $3,000 to her name waiting for her last check, no other jobs lined up, with nowhere to stay cause I still have not heard from that girl. Shidd I had to make sure Karm (My mom) didn't know ANY of this cause if she did she would be stressed THE FUCK OUT.
With all this on my mind, I began to feel overwhelmed. Of course, my crybaby ass broke down. I let out all my emotions then I get down off the couch drop on my knees and pray. I don't remember the prayer verbatim but I know I asked God to send me a sign, that's all I needed. I needed to know that I made the right decision. I needed to know that he was with me, that I was walking in his grace. The next morning I woke up and grabbed my phone, the screen read 11:11.