Friday April 29,2022
Today I just feel the need to be alone. Not in a dramatic way or anything it's just that I am able to really collect my thoughts when I am still in my own space. This week I've been thinking A LOT!! Thinking about my career and how important this is to me. Y'all like "bitch you've only say it every post". Really though it's been heavy on my mind, literally how badly I want to be successful in my career. Accomplishing my goals mean so much to me but I still tend to get distracted. It's the same ole song with me. I continue to over extend myself to people knowing that I have no time.
I am to the point that I just want to get away from everybody. Like I just need a solid year to devout to just ME! No men no friends, nobody around who is unclear and unable to understand exactly what's going on. My scary ass has been so nervous to RELEASE these people from my life, scared of ending up lonely. But see these are my insecurities speaking for me. I need for my friends to know that I am HERE for them but I am not THERE! I will not be able to go on that vacation, I will not be partaking in birthdays this time around. I know it sounds real selfish but this is my year for me! I need to really focus because when I get into these spaces where I am focussing my time on anything other than my projects I tend to lose sight of them, which leads me to feel empty. I am a firm believer that those who are meant to be in my life will understand and will be back but for now I don't want to have to worry about anything/anyone else but LULU!
I am so grateful for Shirly and Jami our meeting was so needed such pure souls, love them forever!